The Chronicles of the First Sons
by Wolves Infinity
Summary: 10 days before the activation of the Ray Sphere. Kessler has to keep his cool but that seems impossible with a agent talking to himself, an obsessive girlfriend and idiot employs
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer  
>I don't own Infamous<p>

10 Days before the activation of the Ray Sphere  
>Have you seen a Toaster<p>

It was a sunny day here in Empire City. The birds were singing, homeless people in the Warren were complaining. A really nice day…that was until…Boom!  
>A group of First Sons scientists looked around uncomfortable<br>"Steve" one scientist said, "Look at the mess you caused"  
>Now there wasn't anyway to tell the group apart. They all had brown coats and gas masks. Head scientist Leon turned to the burning object on the ground<br>"Kessler is going to be pissed" Leon said  
>"Maybe he won't notice"<br>"Shut up Steve"  
>"Come on people" Leon said, "If we work together we can fix this"<br>"Yeah" they cheered  
>Steve groaned<p>

Kessler came out of his room. Dressed in a white coat and white long pants. Kessler was an old-ish man with scars on his face and a metal gauntlet on his right arm. He walked down towards the cafeteria.  
>"What's that smell?" he asked<br>A group of scientists walked past him  
>"I don't smell anything sir" one said<br>"Of course you don't" Kessler said "You have gas masks on"  
>The boss eyed the group. Steve was among them and Steve always caused shit. Kessler ignored them and continued onward. Kessler entered the cafeteria and was greeted by John.<br>"Morning sir"  
>"John"<br>John was a young black man that joined the First Sons a couple of days ago. He was wearing a brown jacket and some old jeans and some really nice shoes.  
>"How are you feeling this morning?" he asked<br>Kessler started thinking. They all knew he was a secret agent of some sort. Who talks into a recorder and the cameras they installed wasn't there because the insurance company wanted there to be cameras  
>"Well John" Kessler began "I feel okay except for a burning, itchy sensation down in my lower region. Between you and me I think Sasha hasn't cleaned herself in a while. I think you can call her a dirty girl," Kessler laughed<br>Everyone went quiet. One guy throw up  
>"Okay" John said feeling queasy "Good to hear"<br>"Good" Kessler turned to the chef, who also gas mask on but was wearing a white suit "Some toast. I have to be at the doctor at 8"  
>"Yes sir"<br>The chef turned around and walked towards the shelve in the back  
>"Wait a minute. Where is the toaster?"<p>

The group of scientists looked down at the toaster.  
>"Kessler is going to freak out if he doesn't get his toast" Bob said<br>"Thanks Steve" Sue said, "Now we are out of a job"  
>"Relax" Steve said, "Shit like this always work out in the end"<br>"What?" Leon slapped Steve "Fool. We need to fix this toaster or else"

"We need to find that toaster or else" Chef said  
>A group of First Sons chefs were standing in front of Chef<br>"Kessler will figure out that something is wrong in about ten minutes" Chef said, "We have ten minutes. Split up and search. Our jobs depends on it"

"We are scientists" Leon said, "We can do anything"  
>"We can?"<br>"Yes Bob we can"  
>Steve looked at the group "Let's do this"<br>"Screw it Steve" Sue said, "Go to the cafeteria. We need a lookout"  
>"Fine" Steve left<br>"Do you think that's a good idea?" Bob asked  
>"Yes" Leon said<p>

Two chefs and a German Shepard were walking down the halls.  
>"We will find that toaster," Greg said<br>"Why do you do that?" Gray asked  
>"I don't know"<br>The German Shepard picked up something  
>"What is it boy?" Gray asked<br>The dog ran into the infirmary. The two men followed  
>"Do you mind?"<br>The German Shepard was humping the leg of one the worker's  
>"Sorry Jane" Greg said pulling the dog off<br>"Who trained that dog?" Gray asked  
>They looked at Greg<br>"You did Gray"  
>"Oh yeah" Gray smiled<br>Jane rolled her eyes and went back to work  
>Greg giggled, "You like her"<br>"I hate you Greg"

John pulled out a recorder  
>"Background information…"<br>A conduit sitting at a table behind John turned around  
>"Dude" he said "Can you do that somewhere else. It's annoying and we are trying to eat here"<br>"Where is my toast!" Kessler jelled  
>Steve walked in "Maybe I should tell the others…screw them"<p>

Greg, Gray and Spot the German Shepard were on the move. The dog had picked up something. Something to do with the toaster Gray hoped. He didn't want anyone to know about what just happened. He had to pay off Greg to keep his mouth shut.  
>The three went into the lab. Three scientists were standing over the toaster<br>"I should have know" Greg said, "You geeks can't leave shit alone"  
>"What?" Leon and his team jumped<br>"It was Steve's fault" Sue said  
>"Sure it was" Gray said, "He is here right?"<br>"I knew this would backfire" Bob said  
>"Attack boy!"<br>Spot ran out of the room  
>"Nice" Greg said "Next time I train the dog"<br>"Hay!" came a voice the hall  
>Gray ran out of the room. Greg shook his head<br>"Was that Jane?" Leon asked  
>"Yeah" Greg said, "Gray likes her"<br>"No I don't!"  
>"If you say so"<br>The group giggled that was until four more chefs entered the lab

Sasha walked into the cafeteria. She had a smallish box under her left arm.  
>"Hi Kessler"<br>Kessler looked up at her  
>"Yo Sasha"<br>Sasha placed the box on the table and sat down next to Kessler.  
>"What's wrong baby?"<br>"I haven't had my toast yet," he said sulking "I'm starting to think the toaster is missing"  
>"Really" Sasha smiled "Well then"<br>She moved the box towards Kessler "Open it"  
>Kessler slowly took the box. He opened it<br>"You shouldn't have" his eyes filled up with tears " A new toaster"  
>"I love you" Sasha said<br>"Whatever" Kessler said "Chef make me some toast with my new toaster"  
>"Yes sir"<br>"See" Steve said, "Shit works itself out"  
>Steve laughed<p>

* * *

><p>This story is fiction and should not be taken seriously<br>Please Review


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer  
>I don't own Alien or Phineas and Ferb<p>

7 Days before the activation of the Ray Sphere  
>Rat Problem<p>

John was standing outside.  
>"I have placed listening devices all over Kessler's Lab"<br>A Labrador walked past  
>"And I have placed listening devices in his Laboratory"<br>Two soldiers standing nearby shook their heads  
>"What an idiot"<p>

Kessler was standing in the lab  
>"Experiment B78. A rat strapped to the Ray Sphere via cables. The rat seems to be reacting well to the energy…oh shit…oh shit…shoot it shoot it. I'm scared of rats. Kill it. My gosh ahhh!"<br>The 5ft tall-mutated rat walked out of the laboratory.  
>"Sir the rat is gone" Leon said, "Are you okay sir?"<br>"No I have always been scared of rats. Since the… incident"

"_But I don't want to go to camp mommy"  
><em>"_I'm not your mother and I'm not a woman. That and its been decided"  
><em>"_I love you mommy"_

"Okay" Leon walked out of the laboratory  
>"I miss you mommy" Kessler said whipping a tear out of his eye<br>"I'm not your mother," said a disembodied voice  
>"I can still hear you mommy"<p>

"Code pink people" Leon said, "Large mutated rat on the run. We need to find it before something else happens and we forget about it"  
>"You mean like the time we cloned that alien queen and it escaped. Now we can't find it"<br>"Steve, we found the queen. It lives in some pyramid some where in the poles"  
>"Oh well thank you for telling me"<br>"People" Leon yelled  
>"You don't need to scream"<br>"I'm not screaming I'm yelling"  
>"There's a difference?"<br>"Apparently"

Greg, Gray and Spot the German Shepard were on the move. They were now looking for the 5ft tall rat.  
>"Let's check this door," Greg said<br>"Sure"  
>The two men opened the door<br>"What is going on in here?" Gray asked  
>"We are watching Phineas and Ferb," the conduit from the first chapter said<br>"Awesome" Greg said, "Can we watch?"  
>"Sure"<p>

"Shit man" Steve said, "You just blow my mind"  
>"Whatever" Leon said, "Are we cool now?"<br>"Yeah. I think we understand the difference between yell and scream"  
>"There's a difference?" asked Steve<br>"Apparently"  
>"We just went thought this" Leon said<br>"Shit man!" Steve said, "You just blow my mind"  
>"Whatever" Leon said, "Are we cool now?"<br>"Yeah. I think we understand the difference between yell and scream"  
>"There's a difference?" asked Steve<br>"Apparently"  
>"Shit!" Bob said "Author cut to the next part!"<p>

"Why are there listening devices on my Lab?" Kessler asked  
>"Ask John sir" Soldier1 said, "He has been putting listening devices everywhere"<br>"Why did we employ John anyway?" Soldier2 asked  
>"I don't know" Kessler said, "I didn't employ him. Someone else did"<br>"But I thought you were the boss?"  
>"I am" Kessler sighed "It complicated"<br>"So your telling me" Steve began "That we started AVP when we locked a queen in a pyramid"  
>"Yes Steve" Leon said annoyed "How many more times must I say it"<br>"About three more times"  
>"Aren't we supposed to be looking for a mutated rat?"<br>"A what?"  
>"Relax Bob" Leon said, "Greg, Gray and Spot the German Shepard are looking for the rat"<br>"Really?"

Back to Greg and the gang  
>"I wish we could build a roller coaster"<br>"Me two" Greg said "Hay where's Spot?"  
>"That's only funny when Phineas says it"<br>"It's funny?" Gray asked  
>"Probably not"<p>

"You still think they are looking for the rat?" Bob asked  
>"Yes"<br>Bob shook his head "I'm surrounded by idiots"  
>"What's his problem?"<br>"He is surrounded by idiots" Steve said, "Whatever the hell that means?"  
>Steve turned to the group before him<br>"Why are we here again?"  
>"Fuck knows"<br>They all turned to Josh Fuckenburger  
>"I don't know"<br>"Oh. Well let's go lunch then"  
>"Awesome"<br>The group left leaving Leon behind  
>"But what about our Rat Problem?"<br>"Screw it"


	3. Chapter 3

5 Days before the activation of the Ray Sphere  
>Midnight<p>

"I'm bored"  
>"Shut up Steve"<br>"I know" Steve said sitting up on his small bed "Lets have a midnight party"  
>Suddenly Kessler came into the room<br>"Did someone say party?"  
>"I did sir"<br>Suddenly Greg and Gray entered the room  
>"Did someone say party?" Gray asked<br>"I still don't know where Spot is"  
>"Yeah" Steve jelled "Party!"<p>

The Warren

Sasha and John were in the Warren looking for Alden.  
>"I was to accompany Sasha to the Warren. We are looking for a man. When I asked she said I should mind my own business"<br>Sasha looked at John like he was mental  
>"Are you mental?"<br>"No" John said, "She asked me if I was mental. What ever the hell that means?"  
>"You are an idiot John"<p>

"Who wants to watch Charlie and the BDSM Factory?"  
>Everyone turned to Steve<br>"You want us to throw you out again Steve?"  
>"No"<br>"Then be quiet"  
>"But Leon" Bob said, "Charlie and the BDSM Factory is greatness"<br>"I know" Leon said "And we are going to watch it. I just don't want Steve to watch it because I am tired of answering his stupid questions"

"Sorry to call you in so late Agent S" Monogram said "But we have reports that your arch nemesis Alden is up to his old evil schemes. Get out there and up a stop to it"  
>Spot the German Shepard wearing a awesome brown hat saluted and jumped into a dog themed hovercraft. Then he took to the sky.<br>_La la la la laaaa la. La la la la laaaa la. A-gent S!_

Stuart, someone who will probably only be in this chapter, entered Kessler's office.  
>"Sir I can't find Sasha anywhere"<br>"I know"  
>"But…"<br>Stuart was confused  
>"Sasha went to meet Alden in the Warren"<br>"But sir isn't Alden an enemy"  
>"Yes. Yes he is"<br>"But…"  
>Stuart was still confused<br>"Alden becomes an enemy in the game"  
>"What? Wait a minute. Game?" Stuart looked around "This isn't real? Are you telling me this is some kind of fiction story written by some guy how has way to much time on his hands"<br>"Yes. Yes I am"  
>"I am so confused"<p>

Spot busted through Alden's door  
>"Spot the German Shepard" He exclaimed, turning around.<br>He looked a bit shocked. The old and powerful conduit didn't expect his nemesis to show up this late. "Damn author is screwing with us again. I mean please. Why write something so nice but the whole story is just comprised out of nonsense and dialog?"  
>Spot slowly back up<p>

"Spot? Spot where are you?"  
>"Greg give it a break. I'm trying to watch porn"<br>"Sorry"

Sasha and John walked into Alden's home  
>"What happened to the door Alden?"<br>"Sasha asks looking at the broken wooden door at her feet"  
>"What are you doing John?"<br>"My monologue"  
>Sasha shook her head<br>"Sasha shook her head. Just then Alden entered. Alden looked up at us"  
>"A German Shepard busted down my door"<br>"We were quiet for a minute. Psycho thought Sasha. We slowly backed away"

"Oh there you are Spot" Greg said  
>"Well this is a weird ending to a chapter"<br>"It's just a filler chapter Steve"  
>"Oh okay"<br>Everyone laughed  
>"What's so funny" Steve asked<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

3 days before the activation of the Ray Sphere

Stress

Kessler was pacing up and down in his office. He was getting really nervous and his employees were not doing anything to help.

Outside his office were two men

"Let's have a competition"

"What?"

"Lets run down the hall with scissors"

"Okay"

Kessler sighed. He walked over to his office fridge and opened it. He took out a -beverage-.

"Okay People" Leon said

A group of First Sons were standing in front of him... again

"Code Pink. Code Pink"

"Code Pink" said Steve "We haven't used Code Pink in years"

"We used it last week you fool"

"Weeks are years in Kardashian"

"Have you been watching E! again?" Asked Bob

"Maybe"

"People" called Leon "Lets get back to our problem"

"Fine" sighed everyone in the room

"We need to get some beer ...I mean beverage"

Greg walked into his room

"Let's go Spot" Greg said "We need to go find some beer"

Spot the German Shepard barked

"That's my boy. Lets go get Gray"

"Why beverage and not beer?" asked Stuart, the guy from the previous chapter

"We need to think of our young readers"

"Readers? This story has readers"

"Yes Steve" Leon said "500 hits"

"...awesome"

Greg, Gray and Spot the German Shepard were on their way to a supermarket to get some beer.

"Do you think its wise to go in public wearing First Sons armour"

"No" Greg said "I think its genius"

"Why did I ask"

"You wanted to know"

Gray shook his head

The three made their way into the supermarket. They moved down towards the alcohol section. The two men grabbed a few six packs and walked to the counter. They paid and left. The whole time they were there they got weird looks and it was not from the armour, the people figure that the two men were a bunch of nut-jobs. It was more about the strange four legged animal that accompanied them. Empire City didn't have any dogs. There were only disembodied barks. The three made there way back to HQ

"So what are we going to do?"

"About reviews for the story?" asked Steve "I don't know. We can always pray for better writing quality"

"No!" Leon said "I mean about the beer"

"We sent Greg, that other guy and Spot the German Shepard to go get some beers"

"Nice"

Just then Greg, Gray and Spot the German Shepard entered

"We bring beer for all" announced Gray

"Whatever"


	5. Chapter 5

1 Day left before the activation of the Ray Sphere...finally

Where have the days gone?

"Kick me in the nuts and call me Kennedy"

Everyone turned to Steve

"Where have the days gone?"

"I don't know Steve" Leon said "But we can finally go on with our lives"

Everyone shook the heads

"Yeah I guess" Steve said "What do you think happens now?"

"The sequel" leon said

Everyone gasped

"I'm joking"

Kessler was calm surprisingly enough. The elderly man was sitting at his desk

"Where have the days gone"

"Is everyone going to ask that?" asked Sasha

"Yes and where the heck did you come from?"

"I have been here since the last chapter"

"Oh. Where have I been?"

"You were drunk"

"Where have the days gone indeed?"

A group of scientists were standing in front of the Ray Sphere

"The Ray Sphere is ready. The calls have been made. Now all we have to do is-"

"Who are you talking to?"

"I'm talking to you all"

"We are suppose to be listening?"  
>"Yes"<p>

The group of scientists just stared at there pier.

"Okay. We are listening now"

Nothing else was going on and Kessler was happy about it. The idiots who worked for him were pissing him off. But at least he now the plans were going to come together. All Kessler could do was smile.


End file.
